As you begin this journey to adopt or go through fertility, let’s start at the very beginning. My question is, what do you value? Why do you want to adopt? What is your motivation? Do you value more time with your family? Do you value security with money in the bank? Do you value secret acts of service? Would spending money on (fill in the blank) assist you in keeping with your values or take you away from your values.
I studied the 5 love languages in college. If you aren’t familiar with the 5 love languages, they are: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, and quality time. It wasn’t until I understood how I receive love did I understand what I valued in life. My love languages are physical touch and quality time. Once I recognized what my love language was, I was able to see how it affected my values and where I spent my money. Find out your love language by taking this quiz.
As I look back on my life, I see times when I didn’t spend my money to fulfill my love languages. During those times I felt an emptiness, unfulfilled, and a longing.
Because quality time is so important to me, I have money allocated each month into a savings account; date night with my honey and family vacation. If I’m not saving money into these two accounts, I feel unsatisfied and empty. What are some things that you value? What have you done to make sure your love language is being met? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment box.
When we were going through fertility treatments, I had the same feeling. I longed to be a mother. Opening up a sub-account marked “baby” allowed me to feel a sense of accomplishment. I was reaching my goal of being a mother. Every time I put money in the account, the emptiness went away. I had a focus on what I valued and I was working towards accomplishing it. There are some things that you can control and other things you can’t. I could control what I spent my money on and saving it for our goal of being a Forever Family. I couldn’t control the fact that we had fertility issues. The song, “Let It Go” resonates through my head at this point and it’s totally applicable.
I want you to think back over the last month. Look at your wallet, your bank account, and your credit card and find where you spend your money. What values does your money say you have? Are you surprised at what you are spending your money on? Do you have conflict between what you spend your money on and what you want your values to be?
I’m teaching a webinar on Sept 15 about how to align your values and your money. To sign up, click on this link. This FREE 30 min webinar will help you begin your journey to become a Forever Family by addressing you financial values.
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