How Can I Pay For Adoption or IVF While Single?

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I found an old journal from when I was a kid. My greatest dream was to grow up, get married, and have kids. Well, I grew up, went to college, started a career, bought a house, and as time went on, I wondered, when will this dream become a reality. I’ve watched other women as they search for their mate and the other dream of mother seems to slowly fade from view. I’ve noticed another group of single women that are deciding that if finding a partner isn’t going to happen, they are not going to let their dream of being a mom to not materialize. They are fostering, adopting, and going through IVF with sperm donors in the hopes of making that dream become a reality. So, how does a single person pay for adoption or IVF when they are the only breadwinner? Check out the following resources to help you adopt or go through IVF while single.

What financial resources are available to single people that want to adopt or go through fertility?


Gift of Adoption Fund welcomes Singles to apply for an adoption grant for up to $10,000. Their website states you need to submit the following:

  • Completed and signed adoption assistance grant application packet
  • Copy of your most recent income tax return
  • Copy of recent (two months) check stubs for all reported income earners. Please note if you are self employed you must provide the last two months of your business/personal bank account statements to show proof of income.
  • Copy of your approved and current home study [Note: If your state laws prevent your home study from being released to you or a third party (e.g. Colorado), you must provide a statement signed by your agency confirming that you have a successful home study on file and that you have been approved to adopt the child with whom you are matched.]
  • Two (2) letters of reference – most applicants will make copies of the letters of reference that were used to obtain their home study.
  • $50 Application Fee (payable via credit card for online applications or by check or money order if printing/mailing your application)

Help Us Adopt doesn’t discriminate against marital status when applying for a grant with them. You must work with an adoption agency or an adoption attorney because all checks are written to them. Another requirement is US Citizenship.

You can download a list of 80 Adoption and 20 Fertility Grants here. They are also included in the Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course below.

One of the concerns I hear about grants is, “I just don’t know what to say.” Well, we created a course to help you know exactly what to say. The Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course provides you exercises to help you write a successful grant. We know it can be intimidating to share your thoughts and feelings, especially if English wasn’t your favorite class in school. We guide you through the thought process, provide you thought provoking questions that help you know exactly what to say in your grant application.

Here’s what’s included in the course:

Sign up for the Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course


Adoption Loans

Adoption loans should not be the sole source of your funds. These should be considered to fill in the gap between what you’ve already earned or raised and what you suddenly need because you’ve been matched.

Fertility Loans

During a coaching session with clients, we determine your spending plan, so you can know if you could afford to borrow money. Book a free 15 minute consultation. I’ve discovered that your spending habits are where all the leaks occur and that then leads to you being unable to reach your financial goals. That can be very frustrating when it comes to your desire to be a parent.

Side Hustle Ideas

I love the idea of passive income and when I was single, I realized it was important for me to create multiple sources of income because if I lost my job, I had no one else to rely on for income.

As you save up the money for adoption, you may feel overwhelmed because you are doing it on your own. You may be discouraged because you feel like you are working all the time. Instead of working more, looking at working smarter. Check out the side hustle ideas for passive income that I provided for the military. Passive money allows you to create an extra income, but it doesn’t take all of your time. I really love passive income and I have worked hard to create passive income. Many of the ideas in the link above, I’ve done because my time was so important to me.

In the course, Preparing for Adoption, we discuss side hustles; when do you need a business license, how do you obtain one, and when do you need to be a legitimate business?


It’s important to build your adoption team to have the right support. You may be single, but you don’t have to go it alone. Rebecca Gruenspan of RG Adoption Consulting provides a Roadmap for Adoption that she discusses in this podcast episode with Infant Adoption Guide.


Build a team to help you while you work. During the pandemic of 2020 while school was out of session, I struggled to work from home and have 3 kids running around the house. I finally messaged a few teenagers and a teacher friend and I hired them to watch my kids throughout the summer. It was a blessing to have 4 people that I knew could watch my kids while I worked. When one person was on vacation, I used another person and when one was around someone that tested positive for COVID-19, I used another person. No one likes to be backed into a corner and you shouldn’t either when it comes to finding reliable childcare, always keep your options open.

Where to look for help?

Dependent Care Tax Credit

When you have someone watch your child, you can claim a dependent care tax credit. To find out more about those qualifications, check out the IRS website. You’ll need Form 2441 when you file your tax return.

Dependent Care Flexible Savings Account

If you file as single or head of household, you can contribute $5,000 into a Dependent Care Flexible Savings Account. It’s a use or lose it situation, so if your child care expenses will only be $4,000, you don’t want to contribute $4,001. All contributions during the year must be used during that year. I made that mistake one year and I’ll never make that mistake again. I submitted my reimbursement too late and missed out on 2 months of payment. That was super frustrating. Be sure to clarify when reimbursements must be submitted.

Qualifications to use the FSA

Care for your child who is under age 13

  • Before and after school care
  • Babysitting and nanny expenses
  • Daycare, nursery school, and preschool
  • Summer day camp

Where can I open up a Dependent Care Flexible Savings Account?

Speak to your HR department during open enrollment to sign up for the Dependent Care Flexible Savings account. Please make sure you ask HR when the year starts because it may not be calendar year, it may go Oct-Sept. That makes a difference when it comes to obtaining reimbursement.

Remember that putting money into a Dependent Care FSA is before taxes, so it can lower your taxable income. A year end visit to your CPA can assist you with knowing where you are for adjusted gross income, which can help you know which tax bracket you will be in for the year.


In the Preparing Financially for Adoption course we discuss setting aside money in your HSA before adoption because you may adopt a child that has special needs or needs medical attention. That money can roll over to the next year and build up. This is a huge benefit, especially if you adopt internationally and they have medical concerns.

As soon as you have placement, it’s important to let your HR Department know, so you can add your child on to your health insurance. Typically you have 30 to 60 days from day of placement to place them on your health insurance, so don’t wait. They consider day of placement as “birth” similar to biological children. When we obtained custody of our daughter, we just needed to provide custody papers to get her on our insurance and then when we adopted, we provided adoption decree to change her name on the insurance.

Will and Determining a Guardian for minor child

Once you adopt a child or give birth to a child, you need to set in place a Will and appoint a guardian for your child if something were to happen to you. I know noone wants to think about death, but it happens. It’s better to plan for it now, because the State will do it for you if you don’t decide now. You be in charge of your child’s destiny instead of a judge that doesn’t know that you can’t stand your Aunt Gertrude and you’d rather have your best friend, Kate to raise your child.

Once you have spoken to an attorney to set up the Will and guardianship, you need to help your best friend Kate to know financial details about your child and their likes and dislikes. The Family Emergency Binder is a perfect answer for keeping all of your information in one place.

In these documents, you may want to include information regarding the adoption, bio parents information, bio health information, routines you have with your child, and information on how to financially take care of your child after your death.

For those going through sperm donation, you may want to include information about the donor in your file.

What happens if I later get married?

Can your new spouse adopt your child you adopted or gave birth to while you were single? Yes. This falls under step-parent adoption and costs are typically under $1500 according to attorney, Andrea Rigdon.

Download a free copy of the Essential Guide to Prepare Financially for Adoption.

Where to save your money?

Qube Money

Name your Qube spending account specifically Baby Jones Adoption Fund or Baby Jones Fertility Fund to give you a connection to the money and help you with reaching your specific goal.

Health Savings Accounts

For those of you seeking fertility treatments, be sure to contribute to your Health Savings Account. Here’s how I used the HSA for fertility. I was also interviewed for an article on HSA Store by Jackie Lam and you can read about that here.

You can also use the HSA for medical for a child that you adopt. Be sure to make sure you qualify for an HSA.

For the full episode check out The Adoption and Fertility Finance Show

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